I could never figure out why I never fit in.
Or why every girl I liked never liked me back.
Or why my dad never loved me.
Or why my mom had to be taken away from me at 17 years old.

There's a lot of things I never understood.

But now, I don't understand why these things are happening to me.
Why do I sit here every day hating myself while everyone else is having the time of their lives?
Why do I sit here every ******* day surrounded by sadness and every one else has happy days like it's the ******* TV show all over again?
Why do I sit here and suffer through so much **** all the while no one bats a ******* eye to it?

All these questions and I'm still hopelessly searching for answers.

But all I need is a savior.
A miracle.

I just need something.

I can't keep being the ugly fat-*** that no girl will ever like.
I can't keep being the manic depressive 19 year old who is paranoid over every little thing.
I can't keep being the shy and awkward guy that has no friends because  he's too afraid, too ashamed, and too much of a loser.
I can't keep watching girl after girl that I have feelings for fall in love with another guy.
I can't keep sitting in my dorm all alone and depressed waiting for something to happen.

Please, please, please.
Just let something good happen for once after a whole 1 year, 3 months, and 16 days of bad.
Of worrying.
Of crying.
Of crippling depression.
Or being alone.

I just need some help.

I just need some answers.