I want to pour gasoline on my body
And set fire to my fingertips
Run my fingers through my hair
Watch it burn, and singe my scalp till I bleed
I want the fire to lick at my skin with an intensity no one has felt before
I want to scream everything I hate about myself
I want to stand on the tallest building there is on a windy day
Feel the wind ripping at my skin
I want to stand on the edge
I want to be the edge
I want to see all the people as I jump
I want to see the fear fade from my eyes in the reflection of the glass passing on the building
See all the people clear as I jump
I want to scream everything I’m sorry for
I want to tie a rope around my neck
See colour become more vibrant that I’ve never been able to see
A new colour scheme
Finally getting a new perspective
Till it all goes monochromatic
I want to set up a cocktail party
Garnish cocktails with pills instead of cherries
Drink them till I feel cobwebs on my arms