I know now what I once and always knew
Which is that I longed for a father
I had one, but I didn’t you see

When I was growing up
I saw him
But it wasn’t really seeing him
Once a year on Christmas Eve
Wasn’t and still isn’t very satisfying

When I was growing up
My presents from him would always be pink
I always have hated the color pink
But I didn’t want his presents
But his presence
He doesn’t know me at all

When I was growing up
I wanted him to be proud
Of my grades, musicianship, even the mistakes I made and learned from

When I was growing up
I was thankful to have a mother to cuddle me through my first heartbreak
But I craved for a slap on the back from my dad
Telling me I’m still his little girl
That I can’t date until I’m thirty or something
I’ve had three heartbreaks so far
But still nothing

When I was growing up
I was jealous of all my friends that were close with their fathers
And if he comes to my graduation
I don’t know why he’d even bother
Four years, and he’s never seen a single concert
I’ve been in over twenty
Doesn’t know my favorite and best or worst subject
Or that foolish boys claimed to have loved me

When I was growing up
I wanted my mom to get a boyfriend
One to be there for me, toughen me up
You know, send me to my room and holler
I am growing up
And I still want a man to call my father