The thing about the word unhealthy is that it can only exist in comparison to other, more appealing options. In the absence of vegetables, a diet consisting of processed sugars, caffeine, and American Spirits raises no red flags. Broken individuals seem to shine brightest when they cannot be referenced against those possessing more admirable qualities.
You are the dent in a beautiful spine, telomerase granting immortality to the cancer.
She is dive bar songs for everyone, for her, for this half-drunk moment, but secretly for you, really. Dusted in neon smoke your body can’t breathe but still delicately pack into the corners of each lung, knowing it can never be exhaled.
For someone so self-professed anxious, She says lots of words that are not “yeah”.
She is a kiss that tastes like mornings spent reading The Bell Jar. Long legs twisted into thick comforters, bare skin close with the desperation of two people who have everything to lose. Morning hair spread wide and thick. On your backs, not wanting to move, wondering how much time you have left. Doing the math together. The wrinkle following you through an empty apartment.
Here is proof, evidence. A human alive; a body in operation.
When She crashes her smile into what’s left of your teeth it feels like a jaw being broken by sunlight. Closer to her than anyone, without knowing a thing about the ashes in the corners of each eye. Rings with an unsubtle sway from striped dress, to the edge of your timid fingers. I know how little a man can do with two hands.
Abandoned toys and worn out shoes have a past , like the people who used them.
Don’t tell people the reason you have to leave parties early without saying goodbye, why you stay so close to the exits, ready to push away any innocent bystander who might be able to help you. Don’t tell them She’s the voice mumbling beyond the edge of your lamplight. Wondering what Hope means, if the other end of the text message knows and what it means to find out.
Some stories end with four shoes on a subway platform, not caring if you’re stepping into the right train. Others end in the fields as the ants clean the bones.