I can't sleep with you running through my mind.
I never wanted to be this weak, dependent on you for my happiness.
I want to be my own person, I didn't want to need a man to make me feel like I belonged.
I hate that he makes me so weak. I hate that I fall so hard. Every **** time I get too caught up in my feelings and I lose myself.
I want to be stronger, I want to live a life that I can be proud of, that gives me reason to be.
There's nothing wrong with needing him, needing love, it's basic human emotion.
But I hate that I can't sleep right now because all I think about is you. Seeing you. Kissing you. Just being with you.
I want to cry, maybe that would make me feel better, to be able to wash you out of my head.
The saddest part is, I'll probably never tell you any of this.
I haven't told you a lot about me, and I don't think you really know me.
We have time though. I want you to know everything, I just don't know how to say it, but I know how to write it.
And I want to know everything about you, because I think I love you and that scares me because I don't really know if I ever loved like this before.
I want him to know who I am, what I see, what I think.
I feel so much and most of the time it just hurts. It makes me ache so badly.
I just want you here. I just want to hold your hand and squeeze it tight just to make sure this isn't a dream.
But then again, it can't be a dream because I can't sleep.
So I'll just lay here, wide awake, pretending that I'm dreaming, that way I can imagine you laying here with me,
holding me tightly,
your sent intoxicating me.
Making me feel whole.