I want to be alone but I don't want to be alone. I want somebody but I don't want to have to rely on somebody. I want to have feelings but I don't want to feel pain. nowadays we lose more than we gain. You got good grades you're judged for them you got bad grades you're dumb for them. I'm trying to grow up in a society where I'm told to be myself. But then again they're all trying to change me trying to rearrange me I don't know who to be  or where I'm going I set my standards too high while they set theres too low.   My whole life I've been a failure they told me I wouldn't make it that I'd give up just like my mum don't you see I'm trying so hard to prove them wrong? just because I got good grades doesn't mean there's nothing going on at home my family's ****** up I don't have nobody call me miss independent because I grew up on my own. I was lonely. It was hard for me. I've been through a lot from suicidal thoughts to anorexias evil plots.