i am sick to death
undying want of you
tempting plague
you **** me dead
    unspoken words
    die with me too

dubious angel come then to me
all spine, bones and crooked teeth
my desire without check
take your back your throat your neck
push teeth-mouth against mine, barely just
pull hair, carotid, adams apple ******
dilated eyes, breathing tight
locked knees, hips, thighs
cold brick conspires to hold us up
scrape my skin, push my luck
press together blood rush loud
anonymous sin crushed in a crowd
public display of affection
this is how i beg for your attention

(did i say i wuddnt do this again?
make another list like this?
oh, but here i am
your own personal stalker, semi-******
your own personal escapist and
dont you feel loved, or is it obsessed after,
dont you love to be the focus of my own private disaster?)

how does it feel to be a secret
to be really undefined?
not a friend, not an enemy
not a lover, not an every,
existing as the other, as an any of many
something only vague, definitely a blur
at least you're irresistible,underline bold italics, absolutely for sure

no, you dont want any part of me
my begging, my pulling, my poetry,
there is nothing promising in these words, these actions
just the unrelenting agony
of dissatisfaction

so this is the end of the runaway
unable to breathe at the normal rate
in the company of what i anticipate
you bring, so instead i suffocate
close my eyes
this is how i pretend to die
the only way i can have you, this,
resurrected as my former self, Miss-
getting-away-with-it
and you are the Hereafter
welcoming the chaos
of my cadaver

    my plot is thin, my pulse weak
    and though my limbs cold
    they are yours to keep