I was going to write about Napoleon Bonaparte
About how his insecurities must have blown apart,
But I wasn't sure if he was good or bad,
Whether he was sane or he was mad,
I lacked the knowledge to put him in words on a pad,
So I asked myself, who do I know best?
I only know me best and that is not said in jest.
When I was young, I had trouble fitting in,
Somehow they always saw only my skin,
Others told me I shone a light on Earth,
That somehow being optimistic was my worth,
I never could believe them,
Because the lights always felt dim,
I was probably the most negative person ever,
I would see bird flu from a single feather,
Saw how a dog was leashed and tethered,
And only wanted to free it.

When I was 16, I watched myself turn to a monster,
Lost in the world of competition,
I saw myself treasuring grades and money,
Above all else.
The world became a giant playground for me,
Where all people surrounding me were enemies.
This phase ended abrupt
When I had my first commitment,
My first girlfriend,
And although I didn't love her,
I felt I would have grown to,
But I never did grow to.

One day I fell in love with someone,
Someone I have never met,
Someone on the other side of the world,
Confusing plastic for pearl,
I saw a prize out of everyone.
Everyone including this person,
Became someone I easily let in.
So as I grew another year older,
I kept my arms folded,
Kept my heart and soul locked away,
Because it took two decades to get to today,
For me to realise that maybe the world,
Isn't plastic or pearl,
It's more than that.
It is heart and soul,
Finding a reason to be whole,
Even when your heart burns blacker than coal,
There will always be someone to make you whole.
The cynic in me started to vanish,
Because I saw the beauty in memories,
Rather than the pain of the aftermath.
Just because it's a heartbreak,
Just because your heart momentarily ached,
Does not mean that it was never beautiful,
Because it gave you the chance to be you,
The you that has been locked away for so long.