you caught me
red handed
being my mothers daughter
re-enacting the fugue of
my childhood
rummaging thru the basement
for some irony
that i am not a thirty year old
replica of her

i hand you everything
that you demand
admit i am wrong
and you threaten me anyway
because it makes you feel strong
arms crossed
poised for a fight
petulant
because that is
the only thing
i refuse to give you

you dont want my apology
you dont do acceptance
you wont look me in the eyes
unless you are breathing fire
in my face
casually destroying me

it wont take justice
it wont take honesty
it wont take anything
to redeem me
because to you
i am rightless
inhuman
as if i were never born
but i was
and to the wrong woman

you would just like to remind me
that i am living on
borrowed time
but i know
my whole life has been
borrowed

your threats leave me vacant
nothing you can say
fills me more with fear
than my past
a basement full
of food stamps
welfare checks
food banks
good will
and the will to survive
starting from conception

feral kitten to
feral cat
cardboard box to
cardboard box
lost and found
collected
abandoned
looking thru whats left behind
for some kind of future
i am sorry your
8 thousand dollar life
was witness to my own
complicated by my
impoverished
deprived
depravity
forgive me
for troubling you