When we were 12
I got my first pair of shorter shorts
When I went over to your house
I wasn't allowed to wear them
Unless it was to sleep

You were always jealous.
I was rail thin.
You were chubby,
But had less ***** than me.

I had no responsibities
You had school soccer
Volleyball summer jobs
And raising your three
Other siblings.

Soon you quit eating
And thinned out until
Your ribs peeked out
We sat on the bus
I showed you my scars on my arms
And you whispered
"I put a knife to my stomach
But was too scared to push in"

Then we were juniors
You gave blow jobs to
Your ****** boyfriend
While I slept.

Your blonde hair and blue eyes
Looked so innocent it hurt.

You lost your virginity.
Fell out of love.
You talked about going to
Arizona for College.
That I should go with you.
By now I was failing half my classes
And going to parties on the weekends.

You met other boys
Slept with one who broke your heart
And ran back to your
First love.
He willingly took you.

Then we were seniors.
You complained about him.
About how small his **** was.
How he treated you.
How selfish he was.
How he's a super senior that'll
Be twenty one next year.
He's a baker at Carr's.
I think you secretly hate him.

You say no more to Arizona.
You say yes to
University of Anchorage Alaska.
Its an hour drive away.
You say you're spending
Your college years living
With your grandma instead of
Living on campus.

Your parents dig themselves
Into you and live through
You. Your perfection.

You are a settler.
And I feel you'll be that way
Your entire life.