My eyelids feel as if they had the option
Opportunity, they would close and close.

Dancing in a cloud of 5am Chicago forgetfulness
My nose sniffly from that new hit experience
My dark haired girlfriends with matching names
I remember my first time hanging out in that space
So fresh, so new, so caged.

Valentine, sweet sweet
My ex and I text, flirt at times
I play with the past by jostling my top
Giving that lap dance to a stranger
You think my name is Zelda
Little bit of Legend
Legend Fitzgerald.

I made you a video this morning
My boxed media experience of heart shaped chocolate
I wished this morning we could watch Candy
Have all that love and all that ***
Just like we talked and fantasized about
At one point
Or twelve
Maybe fourteen
In time.

Too busy
I'm too busy people say
It snows outside my windows
I talk to myself often, I find myself
Wondering with a strip of slight worry
That I look like a freak in my 6 dollar too big
Purple winter coat
Talking myself through where I was at
At exactly this time last year.

Just got talked into downloading Snap Chat
I remember the night I deleted it
And why.

I can't lie
I am afraid to see what you do or say
I dance fearlessly in just socks
Or my steel toe boots
I remember you use to tell me you had a pair as a kid
And I secretly never believed you.

Happy Valentines
We say, we all say
Women and men
Lets support and love
Letting go of whats not so good


****.
I'm so tired.