I just want to write about things I have no words for.
I want to rant about feelings I don’t even understand.
I don’t know how to describe what is in my head.
I can’t write what I don’t know.
It’s hard, when I just want to scream
And cry and laugh and kiss you all at the same time.

I just need to vent, but how can I
When there is nothing for me to vent about ?
I have no words for the things I have running in my head
And so find myself repeating things for lack of anything else to say.
I rummage through my mind as my fingers fly across
The keys, waiting for something to pop to the front,
Needing the warmth of the friction of typing
So I know my tension, my build up of everything
Of this nameless blech is being released.

But yet no matter how much I write,
Nor no matter how much I spit out,
Nothing happens. No words of comfort.
Nobody will know. And I feel no relief.
I just go on and on, hoping at least one of these meaningless phrases
Will mean enough to calm my rapid heart.
Or enough to change my frantic mind.
But it doesn’t. And I grow more and more confused as
I work out what I actually do feel.
Which is everything
And nothing
At the same time.
Which is quite a heavy burden to bear,
Since I can’t describe it
And I can’t tell you
Because you’d ask for words,
And this is all I can offer.

And I know this will never be enough
Because it is still not enough for me,
But it’ll have to be, because
It’s all I have.