I hate that it's come to this:
you're constantly punishing me.
But don't I deserve it?
Isn't it what I wanted?
For a man to keep me, discipline me, take me in every way?
I said to you:
If I do something wrong, anything,
punish me in a way you see fit.
You're only doing what I said to do,
But...
It's getting harder to hid the bruises.
Harder to resist flinching when someone gets too close.
Harder to keep from crying every night you leave me alone.
Harder to keep a straight face
and say, "Fine!" when I'm asked how I'm doing.
It hurts now.
You're choking the life out of me,
yet you breastfeed me that very love right back.
Poisonous, but irresistible to such vulnerability I am.
But don't stop.
I want it as bad as I despise it,
Love you as much as I hate it.
So love me.
Show me you do.
Pacify me.