I can hear it clearly
now
more than yesterday or before
the winding down of the clock
and the bills coming due
for a past
of centrist decisions
of self
of failing
of the idiocy of immediate satisfaction
with no regard for the obvious.
All these years and all the battles
turned into a war within
and begs the question,
"How do you lose a war
with your own desires?"
I did,
and bleed from the cuts
made by my own hands.
I hear the winding down
of the clock
but have lost the key to redemption.