i’ve been told i love you and i’ll always love you
by someone who is making his way out of my life
while i am here trying to rip him out of my heart
but not being able to because he is stuck to every fiber of my being
so when my friends tell me they love me
i tell them i don’t want to hear it
they think i’m joking and say it anyway
i pretend i don’t hear it
because people leave
people
always
leave
i have so much love in my heart for the boy who broke it
how twisted is that
but i have even more love for those who’ve helped me
put it back together
if i could,
i’d tell my friends i love them twice in every minute
the first time so they know
the second so they don’t forget
but you can’t do that
so instead
i call them idiots and number them off
i can’t call them cute names
because the last boy i called baby
doesn’t respond anymore.
i say
text me when you get home
i hope you’re doing okay
i say
i saw this and i thought of you
i’m eating at your favorite restaurant and i miss you
i say
i know you kicked *** on that test
and even if you didn’t it doesn’t matter,
you are more than your grades
i bring them coffee
i bring them cookies
i bring them gifts when i travel
i send them letters
i send them birthday gifts and birthday wishes
i write long texts because i’m too far to reach them
so i hope my words touch you because my hands can’t
i have so much love in my heart for the boy who broke it
how twisted is that
but i have even more love for those who’ve helped me
put it back together
so i find a million ways to say i love you
one from every piece of me.