My soul is turned inside out;

my heart lies bare on the table.

With a careless slice I have thrown it there myself.

When did I become one who destroyed...?


Once when I thought I was wise

I sought to build up, to give & receive,

a living source of life and love to my own.


Foolishly, in the name of loving submission,

of nurturing another's soul and the greater good,

I let his darkness consume me,

blaming myself all the while,

till I could no longer bear it...


In a fury, I came out fighting,

clawing at the air, consumed with rage,

slaying even those who came to me with healing.


Now standing in the carnage

I shudder at the sight

and wish to God that I had rather continued

to turn those claws upon myself

than to have carved up the souls of those I love

and live in desperate knowledge

of the devastation

I have effected upon their hearts and mine.