I don't really know what I want.

But I discipline my soul, my heart
Steadfast, stay steadfast.

I watched and played back the footage
Trying to make footage of it all
I felt so strong, so over it all
You wanted to try and feed me,
Take care
Take care
My red dress and flaming legs
Suddenly, less remarkably apathetic.

It looks like you haven't read any messages lately
And I get to a certain point in the night
Where have to think, see, realize
You are probably with
Another one.

I wish it didn't bother me at all
I don't know why you are in such a rush
Its so painfully clear you aren't ready
Can't calm down, stick to it
Why rush? Whats the hurry?
I reside and take stills, give myself time
When I need and want it
But I think you secretly compete
Try to match what you think I'm doing
But you'll always try to come after
To try and take care of me.

But I don't need it
And I don't want it.
As I laugh in that witchy silly way
My girlfriends eyes glimmering in the natural sunlight
Baffled at what I was drawn to in you.

I have moments, hours
Of feeling mostly just so relieved
But as the day crept on today
I found it harder and harder
To not reach out.

"You should"
You invited me to come along
I guess you'll always want that
I wonder and ponder how you see me
In your mind.

Giving yourself away
Giving myself away
I flirted so on the prowl
With my waiter late last night
I scrawled my number and a heart on the receipt
Glad to walk away and watch you go.

I wish you would just stop
You know you can't handle it
But you still wanna blame me on the cell phone
Showing up to play out what destroyed us.


I have so much to do
I make so little money
I drank my insides up this time last year
I think I was slightly happier?
Was it because I had love at the time?
Technological dreaming
Only to end in a blurry haze
I hit the pavement
Velvet long blonde hair
My face reflecting in your sunglasses
Just like the day I snapped pictures
So perfect, it was so perfect


Only to have me wondering into the night
Why you are in such a rush.