And I've fallen.
So hard.
I've hit the ground.
Gone right through it.

Never
In my life
Have I felt this.
Nothing like this.

I've felt shame
And cowardice,
Weakness
And strength.

I've known terror
And indifference,
Self-hate
And general disgust.

I've seen things
That cannot be
Unseen.
And yet

I've known nothing
Like this terrible,
Horrible,
Paralyzing feeling.

I feel crippled.
Desperate
And out of control.
And it keeps getting worse.

Every day
I feel sick.
Empty
And somehow aching.

Live is a
Heartless *******.
I'm driving myself
Insane.