When I was younger
I had the idea that I wasn't supposed to be the main character
this was for a lot of reasons
the two biggest ones were that
I never really felt important enough to anyone to be a main character to them
and main characters usually had happy endings, something that as my life continues on seems to elude me
Sometimes I get the silly idea that this is my destiny
Holed up in the upper layers of a library
Furiously typing these words in order to avoid doing real work
Writing about how I'm not allowed to be happy
That every time I get close to to love or happiness
life gives me a giant *******
and I retreat to the only place where I matter
A lone room in the uppermost floor of a library
But that can't be the case?
I mean, everyones allowed to be happy at some point right?
I can't go through my whole life like this, can I?
I get something for these years of hell
please
please I just want this pain to go away
I don't want a lot out of life
I just want to be happy
Please God or whatever is listening to this
I'm sorry for everything I've done
I'm done with all of this
Please just let me live in peace
Let me be normal
I'll do anything you want me to
Just tell me what to do to be happy
Please
I can't keep going for much longer