lie in bed and contemplate the day
simmer in dismay
silence, stay
be dark,  fester in every way

I used to think
I was bold
my parents would scold
as I'd unfold another
lie within

we're all super heroes
of our own making
daily breaking
vows of patience
suffering selfish synonyms
for self investment

is it in our nature
to really love
to nurture
caring without a care
but for the good of those who incite our empathies

I want to believe that down deep
beneath the heap
of ******* steep
and plaster molded faces that creep
in front of our souls

there might be a light
an ever so slight
break in the blight
the rugged muck
that is my Plight
the one thing keeping me from flight
just solitary candle flame
burning bright
behind this facade

I know it was there
but I've grown cold
my sadness
madness anger rolled
so tight it might burst into flames
but that's the problem

I hope it isn't snuffed
that light
the gentle one
that hopes
dreams of possibility
denies the probability of  failure
and calamity

the flesh screams out in pain just wishing someone- I can't even say it

The truth is
I don't want to be a monster