I'm more sassy than sweet
My green sweater hanging from limbs
I come across as more of a party girl
"Sweet. Sweet." Think sweet
My acting on camera teacher tells me
Moon tattoo my neck
"Its the eyes!"
A classmate of mine offers
"I think its in the lips"
Sometimes I wish I could carefully peel off
Pieces of my face
Like I was Mr. Potato head
Start all over again.


I can hear you coughing in the kitchen
In the darkness of my room
Admitting I miss you
But I stay cocooned in my den
Its so weird that you come here now
But not for me.

I'm sure you must look around this house
And see the white table
The kitchen counter in front of the coffee maker
The places we so secretly and boldly
Made love in
So forbidden
It all seemed.

I thought I knew winter
But I didn't know ****
I feel as though I were entirely composed
Of Alaska
Every time I walk outside.

Boys, men
They really only irritate me now
I roll my eyes at text messages
That only appear at the most inconvenient times
I bet you think I'm not here
Maybe I'm sort of not
I can hear you walking past my door
I bet you just cracked open a beer
A few days ago we wished we could have just
Carried our relationship
Everywhere safe and solemn
In our bed.

But we couldn't
And I wouldn't
And though I have moments of missing
The safety of you knowing me
I do have to snap fingers in my face
And remember that I am still very much
In such a new place
None of you really know me

I'm not just full of sass
I couldn't stop laughing and saying how interesting
That feed back was
Because it took me a long time to become this woman
This strong, powerful
Can peacefully fall asleep with my ex-boyfriend in my living room
Woman.
Can sit in meetings and feel like I dance in fire
Or bravely kiss and whistle
At what I was scared of before.
So **** the idea of a party girl attitude
And this moon tattoo on my back
Means more than I could ever relay into words
Industrial copy is really a difficult form
That I'm trying to master
Because I desperately need money
But I direct, I write, I edit
And I can transform into whatever I need to be
Still finding myself
Forming my roots
Ignoring what I could or couldn't do
I'm still so ******* new.

I'm doing what I know I must do.