As I sit there silent
Thoughts tumble over each other
Pouring through my mind,
Trying to make it to my tongue
But they trip each other and
Fall and collapse
Before any of them can make it out

So when I sit there silent
It's not because I'm dumb
It's not because I'm young
It's because my mind is a whirlwind
Of thoughts and ideas
That come out as colors and feelings
And strokes and notes and chords
And sorting them out
Into a presentable form
Is like picking through
A junk yard of valuables
Where I want to keep everything
But it won't all fit in my arms
So it slips through and I'm left
With nothing
On top of my tower
Of precious thoughts
That I can't hold together

You ask how I am and what I think
But do you really want to know
The turmoil and loss and confusion
That mixes so strangely with
Confidence and success and calm
Because right now my body
Is a pulsing mass of contradiction
And containing and controlling my
Scattered mind
Is a deeply daunting task

So when I sit there silent
It's not because I'm dumb
And it's not because I'm young

It's because the articulation of the dizzying complexity that constantly swims in my mind
Requires time and effort to unwind
And I panic when you look at me
With those ever expectant eyes
Because I'm afraid you think I'm dumb
And I'm afraid you think I'm young
But time has passed
And still my thoughts suspend
in a tangled mess
Knotted and ragged behind my tongue

And so
I sit there silent