I'm going down with the ship. It's funny how we're all so good at sinking. You can find me at the bottom of the ocean. Searching for all of the lost promises you made me. As if they actually meant something. It was a you jump, I jump situation but only one of us fell. Trying to find you in everything I see is exhausting. Sometimes I can still see the light coming through the cracked glass but I'm surrounded by darkness. Every time I try to tell you I'm sorry I feel the pins in my throat that you made me swallow. One for every time I let you down. I never meant to be such a disappointment. I'm trying to figure out why every broken piece of me can't fit back together but I think it's because you stole a piece when you walked away. Deciding whether to try harder or give up is this constant battle in my head. A war in my mind that never gives up. My body is a battlefield. My lungs are filled with bullet holes from all the missed shots you took at my heart. The thing is, you could've just cut it out with a knife. It was always yours to begin with.