In January I realized I needed help, I withdrew from school and sought a lonely road to recovery.

In February, I finally let go of someone who had been toxic to me for two years. I had never felt more free.

In March I grew stronger and healthier and learned how to take care of myself. I started laughing again and rolled the windows down.

In April, I moved back. It was a beautiful reunion and I was healthy for the first time in my life.

In May, June, and July I experienced a deep loneliness and an empty house that really tested all I had learned. But I found God’s comfort in my deepest isolation.

In August, I went back to school and really experienced college and friends for the first time. As a senior.

In September, I got my heart broken again..but by my best friend. I knew no matter how hard I tried it would never be the same.

In October, I lost myself in a group of people that didn’t value what I valued. It left me with a horrible hangover.

In November, I tried to heal. I tried to step back but I didn’t have anyone else. I had lost so many people this year.

In December, I took the pictures off my wall. I came home. I cried to my mom from a bathtub. I asked her “why?“ She didn’t have the answer though. She said to focus on what I have instead of what I’ve lost, to focus on my dreams and future instead of dwelling on the past.

In 2015 I grew. I loved a lot and I lost a lot. But I’m still here, and restless as ever because I know I was made for more than broken hearts and crippling insecurity

And in 2016 I’m going to find it. And I hope you do too.