I thought when someone realized that he or she were dying,
That they would want to spend time with loved ones without trying.

Now my mother is gone and I know she was just preparing for her day.
However, it is still hard for me to accept my mother pushing me away.

That was our time together and I wanted to spend every minute with her that I could.
It was not until she had already gone that the dying process was something I understood.

But even though I now understand, it still hurts me to this day
Because the time we had left was precious to me, but my mother kept pushing me away.

She always told me that she loved me but then would ask me to leave.
It was heartbreaking to walk out the door as I found it hard to believe.

I feel as if I have been cheated, like a selfish child who did not get their way.
I keep telling myself to be grateful for the time I did get to spend with her and try to forget the pain of yesterday.

RIP Barbara Cheek
April 8, 1932 – December 31, 2015
I wish we had more time….