I am not happy
I don't think
That I have ever been.

There are moments.
Weeks even,
Where I think that I am.
                 Content.

And then it hits me again.
It's not your fault
Nor anyone before you.

The problem is me,
My own self.

I've lost so much
That I have loved-
Most of it.
My own doing.

I let things (people) go,
I'm sorry I let it go so easily.

I never am going to win.
Especially when,
I'm playing against myself.