I loved how it was raining.
I loved how you were here.
Or almost was. In my mind.
I wanted you to be.
But hadn’t I learned life
wouldn’t give me everything I wanted?

You would if you could but you cant.
I keep telling myself that, love.
Even if it isn’t true, the element that is
truth keeps me going. Slightly.
Because sometimes I fall. And crash.
And burn. And cry. And want
things I can’t have.