I've spent 100 years inside your shadow, I've lived 1000 years in fear of your judgement. I keep you alive in my jealousy, criticism and insecurity. You are dead but these scars still burn. Every love I lose because of you, every hurt I welcome with open arms. What is love without manipulation and control. There is no pleasure without regret and self loathing. I can never be good enough because I was never good enough for you. My starvation was not enough to prove my loyalty to you. How do you still haunt me from the grave. All the walls I built you took with you in the fire. You've left me naked, vulnerable. I've forgotten how to fight you now. I'll beat my fists at the world. Maybe one day I'll finally be done.