people tell themselves lies

the past was better

it could have been

it should have been

something good and clean is coming

just beyond the next door

or wreckage is sure to be found

dwelling on ***** footprints left on clean floors

or ruminating on memories of accomplishment

all prove pointless

closed eyes draw up decor plans of  imaginary next moves

a chess game never played

bringing blame and hate

to every stage, and every game

appreciate the room that needs work

floors to be mopped

shelves to be dusted

windows to be cleaned

that brings hope

books sitting in shadows should be given light

I may not leave it all behind in a search for nothing

but I hope to leave enough

enough to l know I've passed

enough to know I was there

to know I cared

a little anyway

enough to search for more

beyond open doors

past nonchalant glances

and end-zone dances

towards high-****** rewards

and self assured back pats

just for now

I want nothing

just for now

I have everything

just for now