i always knew i had your eyes
it was a strange feeling
knowing i had the windows
to a soul i never knew

deep set, greenish blues
but that was all we shared
she said

there is a picture of you
and i, only one
you with your shirt off
holding me in my nursery
pink walls and and a bassinet
not holding me the way you
held her
down—with your weight on top
forcing yourself inside
another fathers daughter

somewhere in maine
that man has a picture of his daughter
he held her even after you
where were you for my lips spilling blood?
my eyes surrounded by beaten rings
where were you?

the whites of my eyes went red
from the pressure of trying to breathe
through hands too tight
i spent days in the shower trying to
just drain the filth from the inside out
i cant get it out
it sends impulses to my brain
it makes me flinch at gentle hands

there is a picture of you and i
only one
somewhere down at the bottom of a box
stored away
and that is the only place
you have ever been to me