VII.
because I used to be so afraid of everything of failing of crying of breaking of destroying of being hated of hating of feeling but I nearly failed everything this time and I'm tearing everything apart but I still can't feel anything enough to write anything cohesive because I don't really know who I am anymore

VIII.
because you're not supposed to break down at 2:32pm regardless of whether or not time is a human construct light isn't and you're not supposed to be this sad in the light Sam you're not you're not Sam you're not

IX.
because you can never you can never ever ever ever say anything that describes how you feel as well as songs can because you're not artistic

X.
because everyone you love is an artist or art and you will never be either

XI.
because you can never be constant you can never be in or out of control you can never even be inconstant either you can never be anything real or unreal you can never be sad about normal things

XII.
because you failed at even failing you failed at convincing everyone you were okay you failed at being loveable you failed at crying like all the things you do