I know longer can feel my hands and my brain is just all scattered, I can't tell if its the past or present that's killing me and which ever it is I wish It would do it already, right now at this time I can't even imagine the word love is real..i wouldn't know I hardly ever hear it,im not just speaking of you but some of it just in general. You told me to not take the pill but I can't help it when it helps me forget all this life is all the pain I've been through most of it for you. I've been beaten physically and emotionally for you I cut out my heart and handed it to you as I fell to the floor and bled out slowly. With my last gaze before my eyes shut i saw you drop it and walk the other way. You say you often wish you never would have loved me or kissed me.. But have you ever thought to think all the hell I've been through and all this pain I've endured just for you alone, constantly wanting to take the pill to drift asleep but I don't because I know you wouldn't want me to.. So instead I don't sleep and watch the demons around me tear at my chest and rip me apart alive only to see the sun come up and get out of bed just to see you a couple hours later. You mended me mended my heart when it was broken only for you to break it again and again and each time you mend it once more. I do grow tired of the pain but I don't grow tired of you,you may rip me apart from time to time, you may not actually take in account all I do for you, all the times I stand up for you when your not around. You never really have thought about what I've done for you because your to busy with him to ever give a cent to think about me. But ill still love you even with all this pain I hold in