If you are not recovering you are dying A phrase I have taken to heart Tattooed on every bone of this skeleton inside of me Despite its harshness, it's beyond true If you are not recovering you are dying Naturally, it didn’t offend me until I learned it was supposed to I often sit and think of you for hours on hours Wasting my time, as most people do on thinking of those they love who do not love them in return It is the bittersweet past time of humans Coffee shops are stained with more than coffee stains I wonder how many chairs I've sat in that held someone else broken off of the ground I wonder how many salt water lakes I have walked over when approaching the barista My coffee burns my tongue But no other feeling lingers worse on my mouth than the feeling of your lips I have taken understanding that love does not mind giving scars Remorse was never it's best attribute to conscience We must know that in the midst of something wonderful chaos is making blueprints Planning attack like a predator that has not eaten for days due to the winter Nutrients to keep it alive have been hiding in trees and under snow It is the middle of December and I ache for nothing more than your warmth No amount of coats and sweaters can comfort me like your arms Wrapped around me like a Christmas present My coffee burns my tongue But the flame of his words pressed against my skin I do not love you anymore Does not amount to the physical distress my body undergoes My coffee burns my tongue And I have not eaten because I am too full of a love How strange it is to feel so empty but so unable to consume Like a vase with no flowers I am waiting for something beautiful to offer me meaning And though waiting is not deemed to be the worst The hands of my clock are leaving bruises on my wrist My coffee burns my tongue But in a few hours, it will heal And I will taste cold coffee as the heater in my car warms my hands If you are not recovering, you are dying And at this point, I fear I will not see tomorrow The dew on my window will not meet the ashes from my cigarette Tomorrow I will not make it out of bed Tomorrow I will not go downstairs and make coffee It will not burn me Cause I fear I will already have burned out