I reject the words that were like
honey on a bitter dessert
only hiding the
true taste

they are revealed
to be
silly wishes
that were whispered
in secret
and in vain
to an ear that had stopped listening
awhile ago

very well then
it seems I have been humming this
string of notes
all to myself
and they have been unbearable to endure
alone
yet I thought
I hoped
I did not just sing to an
empty room
but to the bigger picture

which would continue to become more
ornate
and continue to stun
only me

only me
ok
I'll get used to it
soon I beg
for the action of blankly watching my ceiling
every night
just won't do

I want to dream
instead