Lacking motivation
I drove my body down into the ground
Until yesterday
I was so elated to come home
To smell the house, the outdoors
To embrace the sunshine and take some time
Away.

Today I feel slightly better
But my heart and my head
I just really wish I didn't have to experience pain like this.
You have been worried about me all day
You said late into the night
But yet your movements and your actions
They say so little.

Use it as motivation, talking it out into an oblivion
All I really want to do is lay on my bed
And not move an inch.

But I know
I've got to get some rest
I've got to start running again
I have to watch what I eat
I have to write
I have to post on the internet
I have so many, so many things to conquer
My heart in my hands
Once again.

I would reach out to you again
If I thought you could talk
But I set the desire aside
I just cannot anymore.
I've exposed me and put myself into the fire
Only to feel rejected, disappointed
But everything you could never
Give.