I got used to your morning texts. Maybe that's what made waking up quite difficult. I had to wake up every morning wondering why I had to feel that hole in my chest. And trying to shrug it off by the coffee you didn't want me to drink.
I got used to your sweet messages. Maybe that's why receiving messages became difficult. I expect your name everytime my phone beeps and it's killing me to realize you don't probably have my phone number anymore. So I try pushing the thought away by messaging boys you never wanted me to talk to.
I go through the day trying to tear away my mind from you. Trying to fit myself to any other puzzle but the memory of the old you. I try so hard to keep myself busy but I still pause when I feel my heart clench because of the things that remind me of you.
I know what I want. I know I love you. No, the old you. I love how the old you loved me so hard it felt like I was on cloud nine. You loved me so much I didn't bother loving myself because you filled me up. So when you dropped, "wala na kong nararamdaman" I didn't know what else to do. It's just so... Difficult.