Can't bring myself to eat anything else today
Its like its all ending all over again
I miss the way you would drunkenly text me
I miss the way you would call me late into the night
As we write novels, trying to hurt each other less

I wish you had written me that poem
I wish we had fought harder
I wish our love making wasn't so palpable
But keep this between us, I almost beg
I wish I wish I wish
What does it matter?

2015, my God you dressed me up nice
Releasing yourself on my tattooed tummy
Again and again and again.

I reached out, my hands inching through
Technological screens, thinking, my insides screaming
Make me feel like I matter.
Like I'm worthwhile
As ringlets of life and death
They echo and play out intricate scenes in my head.

I had hoped this would be drastically different
Torturing myself with venom instead
I think you, too
Prefer me when I'm
"Good."

But I can't always be good
My insides are beautifully dark and cavernous
Your lips began to decay as you tried
As we tried, to comprehend
Make us better, we wanted to be better
But like that silly pop song
We're only human.

Or are we?
I don't know
At heart, I'll always be
A mythological, brooding, shining
Mermaid moon beam oceanic
This is the worst feeling of all
The emptiness, no desire for anything
I wish I could wish it all away.

As we contemplate how to remain friends
Or how this first all began
Our bodies still yearning and chirping
To take a piece away.

2015. ******* 2015.
Your time has come
So with a curtsey
My favorite lipsticks combined
And joyful sincerity, I watch you go.