I should eat
Red reminders on my left wrist
I wanted, have been wanting to
Little bathroom, mat on the floor so nice
A cocooned furry haired weeping mess
A creature confined.
I hoped you would pick me up
Mama so mean, women so cruel
With your love and good tidings
"Find your Christmas spirit"
My little brother encourages--
His girlfriend and me.

The single one.
The mighty one
Glitter heels, this red dress
I texted you photos, drunk statements
Quizzed about the love
We shared, that all went to ruin
But afterwards I still
Have continued to lay myself down
Again and again
Hoping for validation, reassurance
Perhaps, so that I don't have to feel like
I was left behind.


Your eyes red with remorse
In the early hours of the morning
But you couldn't give me what I needed
On my ****** cell phone today.

Moments, so many fleeting
Specific moments
I locked myself in my room for hours
I don't know that I slept at all
In the darkness of my room
Like I have always done
When my mind and heart
Can no longer take the outside world.

Deep South, its got its love
But I'm cut from a different cloth
You tried to say
But you wanted to deny
And admit that you actively are trying
To fall out of love with me.

I turned my cell phone off
After crying into the bathroom mat
We are good, we are friends, we are trying
You spin in circles and have said and said
I searched for all the right photos to send you
But I heard your voice
And knew I had to just let you go
Let you and the love you long to fade
In 2015.