Things play back in my head a whole lot whether or not I give them permission to I try and shut the blinds close my eyes but they keep on poking through this time around it's not as scary just groundbreaking and unsettling you are alien to me because you are healthy a change for me I can't see happening what truth lies before me is past continually unraveling I have been ruined by others emotionally sore rotten to the core waiting for something to push me forward I was always aware of the lessons that I needed to go through but slower than I ever handled because I realized no one else was worth it but you... my shell had grown hard always accustomed to defense built tiny fences growing tall protecting myself from it all enjoying solitude until made to feel small useless worthless pointless ruthless I have let my dear fear hold me back from basically everything white-knuckled, foam-at-the-mouth to my bad habits, I cling but still the universe aligned with what stirred in the back of my mind you were right about taking this time but I can't live this way, not anymore I have no idea who this is turning me into but that is not really the point.
Libby is responsible for this, couldn't sleep because she was pulling me towards these words, started to write then I saw she came back on here herself. I love this woman.