Dec 2015
I wish I knew how to talk about anything because maybe if I knew how then things would be better
And maybe that saying "time heals everything" won't seem like such a lie
And maybe I wouldn't feel like I'm walking through the snow without shoes on or trying to play the harp without any strings
Cause lately it seems like time is all I have and I'm not running out of anything
Especially these feelings but
I wish I didn't understand why these months feel just a little too cold
And why the lights on the tree shine just a little too bright
The window should be cracked, because I really don't think I can breathe
And it's so much easier to rehearse what to say and plan what to do when they ask "how are you?"
But easy isn't always right and I've got to do something to change this, don't I?
If I don't I'll just continue going through the motions and staring at my ceiling when I'm not dreaming
Dreaming about what it would feel like to feel something other than this
Something but please not this
I wonder if it would be better if I knew how to talk about it
If sorting this out would change anything at all
All I know is that the clouds move quickly then seem to hover over my head like a dragon fly
A memory that reappears when I look at a stop sign
A street light glowing red would be better than these flashing yellow beams that remind me that I don't know if I should stay or go
The lines on the pavement blur together into one big ocean wave that sways to the rhythm of my heart beat
Slow then picking up speed
Unorganized and messy
Back and forth and up and down
A Ferris wheel that goes up once then stays broken at the bottom
Skipping stones reminds me of laughing and maybe that's a good thing but maybe I'm just being nostalgic
Barbie dolls and green army men are long forgotten and well over due
The snow won't come this year and I don't get it because it seems cold enough here
The only thing remaining is this sweet morning dew
Little teardrops strewn across the grass that never seem to last
There's so much going on at once it's hard to hear the birds singing
Singing songs of innocence and a better yesterday
Tomorrow can hold better days if only I knew how
And maybe that saying "time heals everything" won't seem like such a lie
And maybe I wouldn't feel like I'm walking through the snow without shoes on or trying to play the harp without any strings
Cause lately it seems like time is all I have and I'm not running out of anything
Especially these feelings but
I wish I didn't understand why these months feel just a little too cold
And why the lights on the tree shine just a little too bright
The window should be cracked, because I really don't think I can breathe
And it's so much easier to rehearse what to say and plan what to do when they ask "how are you?"
But easy isn't always right and I've got to do something to change this, don't I?
If I don't I'll just continue going through the motions and staring at my ceiling when I'm not dreaming
Dreaming about what it would feel like to feel something other than this
Something but please not this
I wonder if it would be better if I knew how to talk about it
If sorting this out would change anything at all
All I know is that the clouds move quickly then seem to hover over my head like a dragon fly
A memory that reappears when I look at a stop sign
A street light glowing red would be better than these flashing yellow beams that remind me that I don't know if I should stay or go
The lines on the pavement blur together into one big ocean wave that sways to the rhythm of my heart beat
Slow then picking up speed
Unorganized and messy
Back and forth and up and down
A Ferris wheel that goes up once then stays broken at the bottom
Skipping stones reminds me of laughing and maybe that's a good thing but maybe I'm just being nostalgic
Barbie dolls and green army men are long forgotten and well over due
The snow won't come this year and I don't get it because it seems cold enough here
The only thing remaining is this sweet morning dew
Little teardrops strewn across the grass that never seem to last
There's so much going on at once it's hard to hear the birds singing
Singing songs of innocence and a better yesterday
Tomorrow can hold better days if only I knew how
