i awake with a jolt
feeling disoriented
   where am i
     who am i with
   and
do i care?

shaking my head
it seems ridiculous
but i do it anyways
and it's then that i realize
i've gone and done it

i'm where i have no business being
with a someone i have no business being with

i don't feel good
and the onset of tears
i feel
pushing upwards
from my throat
the sobbing that's inevitable
for the very bad mistake
i have made
but
   i won't do it

     i won't let this
     this
          imbecile
know how i really feel
how i despise what i've allowed myself
to become

the giving in
   to a cute face
     a kick *** body
all for
a couple of hours of fun
and games
i forgot about the games
that come afterwards
and now i'll pay for that
   oversight
that comes crashing down
with the soberness
of tomorrow.