well i did it, i beat the odds.
***** three years ago by an ex boyfriend more times than anyone can count? that's poor luck.
you would have thought i was all out of miserable circumstances.
you would have thought wrong.
because what are the chances i would feel comfortable enough to open up to someone about my abuse history, and they would take advantage of it?
what are the chances that he would react carefully and perfectly,
seeing his opportunity and taking it like the ******* he is.
so now i have two rapists. two.

i didn't accept it at first, i thought it was cruel joke.
it took a friend to tell me that yes, ashley, you were ***** to open my eyes
i haven't been able to shut them since
it has been two and a half months now
i think i'm only getting worse.

i'm in a downward spiral, i don't know where i am headed but i know it isn't good.