Suicidal tendencies and there doesn't seem to any amenities, what's happening to me, can't decipher what it is that makes up my reality. Confusion clouding up the once bright picture inside my mind, now I'm hanging out with the wrong crowd even though I know I don't belong in their grind, in a life full of crime. What happened to me, why is every thought of mine filled with all this ****** *** negativity. What is real, what is fake, filled with regret deriving me for finding destiny's sweet hope filled cake. Suicidal in denial, pastor I confess that I need a revival, giving up my proud title, making a change to myself no longer going to stay so fickle.
I know I am rhythmical genius, busting out rhythms like I'm a lyrical machinist. Grew up native, lived being treated like a disease by these white privileged ******* that think they are better than me. **** and to make it worse my dad wasn't in my life for the first fourteen years, got bullied at school, and you know I got called many racial slurs'. Don't get no break, not broke, not rich, I am somewhat of a lower middle class but I keep getting squished by this economy as if it were an anaconda snake. Depression seeps in, getting so provoked by this tenacious sin that got me wanting to finally give in to society's whim.
Family in turmoil, to spoiled and ignorant to each other, they to busy being to offended by each others indifference. No wonder mostly kids or teens commit suicide, because with all these obstacles coming at them, they may feel like there is no other place to turn to or to hide. Got encouraged to be creative and imaginative at a young age, but then school came in and I got so disengaged. They killed all the innocence I had, but I never got pressured from my mom for top notch marks, so it wasn't so bad. I don't think I could handle having that extra burden on my life, tried doing the christian thing to but I no longer really contribute to that fraudulent style of life.