My stomach is tied in knots, my head is throbbing. I cannot eat or drink anything, I feel as if I will die. They say the first day is the hardest, I am not sure who they are kidding. They say it gets better as each day passes. I have felt like this before when I couldn't afford a fix. Now I feel like this on purpose and it really *****. All I know is that this the first day I have wanted to be clean and sober. I crave the junk so bad that I fear my heart will explode in my chest. I lay here in a cold sweat as the nurses come by to check on me. I am not sure what time of day it is. When they bring my meals, I just get sick and throw up, although there is not much left in my stomach. I have to make it, I really must try. If I ever want to be free, then it is day one and we shall see.