I try my hardest to fake a smile
I can't let her come out
She threatens my very existence
She is toxic to my lungs and poison to my heart
She is always lurking in the depths of my darkest thoughts
I can't let her win or it's my life on the line
When she takes control,
My heart turns cold
My thoughts turn suicidal
I start to tell myself I'm better off dead
All I do is destroy and break
I was a mistake
I think of what life would be if I were dead
And I smile
There is a monster within me
I beg of her to come out
To put me out of my misery
But she likes to play my lungs.