I've been disappointed a lot in my life
but blessing myself inside your arms
that was my best place.
that was my only place.

Watching you fall apart has been
the longest fall from a pedestal
and by far the most painful

You've slowly become someone you weren't
in the most grotesque way possible

You are the reason I'm still here
am I yours now?
I can be yours now.
because you were my everything
now I'm your only thing
and I'm afraid I've lost you forever
and I'm sure I've lost you forever

I've watched you desperately grasp at life
while death is creeping in
And I've lost so much more than a person
And I can live with this pain
but can you?

I'm not sure so I'll never tell you
I could never tell you
I will just keep loving than man you were
and caring for the man you are

And every now and then when I see you
when I can catch you in a lucid moment
I weight of that clarity
                of my love
is      
              crushing.

I just wish you would come home.
Because watching you get sick was hard
but watching you get sad was worse.
and watching you turn your light off
was the worst thing that never happened to me.

Because I've lost
I've lost my super hero
               my happy place
              my moral compass
               my rock
               my teacher
              my innocence
              my dad.