Sometimes right before my head hits the pillow
my teeth start to ache
my eyes dry up
and my hands start to shake.

I never remember why I can't sleep
until those shattering thoughts remind me of the
chatter I made to keep you awake
the signs I'd seek and hoped to make you stay
the thighs I'd grab to tell you it's okay
to be broken.
To think that the world is unholy.
To think the rain only comes when your shining smile starts showing.

Just don't forget that you can't control the weather
and maybe your smile needs to sleep for a while.
Come out when the storm resides to a spot in your heart.
Maybe one day you'll remember the rain is not only a time that
tore you apart,

but a horrible storm that gave you enough water to grow flowers.

I sleep soundly now
my teeth don't ache
my eyes aren't dry
and my hands don't shake

I sleep because I know this small body can't control the weather.
I simply stopped trying because I don't have the power to grow flowers.