I expected something like memories,
lost eyelashes marking the paths
where our laughter bounced off of buildings
disturbed birds and audacious shouts
Something within me said, yes,
this is the feeling, this is what I was waiting for
blue eyes and full lips
Hair as beautiful as your hands
white teeth, beautiful back
But as the day dripped by
slowly like molasses from my fingertips
I heard nothing
not a smile, not a sigh
not a look from your eyes, not a sideways grin
I did not hold your hand
or run my fingers down your side
I did not touch your lips
or bump thighs on the sidewalk
because you do not exist
or you did not, in the moment that i wanted
and now i hardly think
you ever will have the chance again
the water that was my soul
is resealed in its tupperware
and the dolphins in my pockets
have been erased away just a little bit more
fade fade fade
fade until there is no more
fade until it's all rock hard
like cauterized nerve endings
and hollow cheek bones
and the names in my pocket book of fuck yous.