I am a lost puppy
Searching for a forever home
Only to find abusive owners

I am my own disease
It's always been that way
My happiness depends on others

To be loved
To love
Is the only way
I could ever really smile

I have this incessant need
To be someone's

To be held by a man
With a glimmer in his eyes

To feel beautiful

No matter how long I am alone
Whether a day or a year

The loneliness sinks in and eats at me

Without someone to be mine I sit and wallow
The racing thoughts increasing by day
The urge for a blade
The pain
The desire to give up
To give in

I lose hope when I am alone
Hope for a future

I don't know what to do anymore
I don't know how to fight this

I just wish I knew how to be happy
Without needing someone else

But that will never be me

Never.