I set out to tell you all the things I've craved
which were missing within me and my hand stopped,
my pen refuse to do what my fingers wanted...
 I couldn't scribe the words needed to express all these things,  not just out of fear
but it is because
 I sat at my desk in my study
contemplating the words I'd like to express to you and when I thought on everything I've missed before I found you I couldn't continue,
 it's because
since I've met you
nothings really missing...
I remember a time
Where  I've felt incomplete,  
so **** lonely
but since knowing you
I feel whole again.
I no longer wished to think of how I was before
I knew such loveliness
which you've brought into my life,
nor do I wish to dwell on so much of the negatives that have had me screaming with terror each night.
Much of that is gone  and I thank you for the support.
I turned in my chair at my desk and look out these big bay window,
the  suns setting and the waters splashing up onto the sandy Beach
I can see you in my minds eye...
 a nostalgic memory  dances in my head
of us
running on this strip of beach;
me in  all white  bikini top & shorts, you're in shors too no top.
You're  chasing me
my hair's blowing behind me and we're both giggling,
I didn't know you could run so fast and good thing too you've caught me,
I was getting outta breathe.,
I see you clearly in my mind
scooping me up in your arms & swinging me round and round.
We fall down and softly I land on top of you....
It was on this day I  saw everything
I've so longed to have
in your eyes ,
the love shone brightly I almost felt blind ,
I was scared to accept what you were showing & offering to me
but I held my ground
fearful as I was I took it all in and when your lips crashed over mines like a wave I felt it,
I felt everything you've ever needed to say and see it still
after all this time so vividly...
SO how can I now write to you and tell you of all the things
I've craved which were missing within me and from my life when during many of my darkest hours you've been my beacon of hope
 a shiny bright light
casting out all the darkness and fear,
holding me close
loving me tenderly,
expressing everything
I've always dreamed of and prayed for
so as
I'm at my desk  I write to you these words which I've yet to say to you ;
Yes
yes I do love you & yes
hell YES,
I'll marry you!

P.S.
I REFUSE  to allow my past hurts or all the abuse to cause us to fail & whomever hurt me back then shouldn't have validation or presidence in our
NEW Beginnings!
Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
         K.A.C.L.N ©
     All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present